I got to cuddle this little bug this morning as we waited to meet all the Dr.'s for surgery. It always kills me to send her back with the nurse just as she's so happy and doing well. I just want to run away, and say "we changed our mind! She's too happy right now." But I know I have to do all of this while she's well. We are still sitting and waiting for her cleft surgery, but the eye Dr. Has come and gone. He said her right eye looks good. There is a little cloudy tissue covering part of the pupil but they can take that out and her vision with glasses will be about normal. Hearing that was like angels singing. To know that she'll have great vision in that eye after wondering for so long is HUGE. The left eye, however, he said was a different story. He still needs to go in to try to clear some cloudiness, but it's more to preserve her peripheral vision, so that she doesn't go blind completely in that eye. A little harder to choke down. We don't know how much she can see and my concern has grown in the last few months. Sometimes it's like Ruby can't see me at all and looks past me. Sometimes I KNOW she can see me. It's something that I really haven't wanted to talk about because I didn't want it to be true. It's a scary thought to think that your baby looks right through you while you are holding her and trying to get her to laugh. So to know one eye is going to be great is a huge blessing. I still think there is lots of hope for her left eye and vision. I am not going to give up on that.
I am glad I pushed for this exam. I have felt with all the glaucoma pressure concern that her overall vision was getting pushed to the way side. I do wish I would have pushed earlier, but I can't live thinking it would have changed things. I have to trust Heavenly Father and know that he KNOWS Ruby and is aware of her and her vision. He's going to make this ok and Ruby will do the best she can in life. She's proven that already.
